oh you know...just feeling a little crafty.

So i have this dresser that i've had for probably 8 years. It's a miracle that it's even lasted that long, becayse it is made out of the most crappy material ever. You know that real cheap flaky particle board stuff? Yep, that stuff. But bless the Lord, this dresser has survived 8 years, 2 re-paintings, 5 moves, and being consistantly over stuffed with an absurd amount of clothing. This thing really has seen better days. Poor thing :(


I'd been needing to get a new one for a while, but just hadn't gotten around to it. So a couple of weeks ago, my wonderful Aaryn was at an estate sale and found this gem...FOR TEN DOLLARS!!!! It was beautiful from the start, but i was feeling crafty, and spiffed up a beautiful antique dresser for way less than I could have bought a quality one!


BEFORE






AFTER

I used some really inexpensive wrapping paper I found at Target as drawer liner.



Here are some of the super cute (but slightly pricey) knobs I got at Anthropologie.






Not a dramatic change, I know, but its fun putting my own twist on such an amazing find.

Not bad Faith....Not bad.
:)

Common sense

"But are we even capable of maintaining a Republic anymore? Are there enough citizens willing to do the hard work that self rule requires, or have we become a people who would rather be cared for, fed, clothed, housed, and told what's best for us by a parentlike state? Unfortunately the evidence suggest the latter."

------------------

The next time an 'emergency' comes along that Washington feels it 'shouldn't waste' there will be many voices on all sides shouting directions. Many of those voices will be wrong--and some will even knowingly be wrong. Do not jump in either direction, just stay calm as others panic. It is in no citizen's best interest to follow politicians who use panic, confusion, and hastily crafted legislation to enact emergency powers that they themselves barely understand. Panic will not lead this ship to a safer port, only farther out to sea, into far deeper and more dangerous waters.

You cannot take away freedom to protect it, you cannot destroy the free market to save it, and you cannot uphold freedom of speech by silencing those with whom you disagree. To take rights away to defend them or to spend your way out of debt defies common sense.

I sincerely believe that no discussion or debate is un-American. I agree with the Founding Fathers that it is only on the battlefield of ideas that the best ones can be recognized and ultimately prevail. Only those afraid of the truth seek to silence debate, intimidate those with whom they disagree, or slander their ideological counterparts. Those who know they are right have no reason to stifle debate because they realize that all opposing arguments will ultimately be overcome by fact. Yet those who champion massive taxes and spending to fight climate change, for example, do not seem to understand that, If science is on their side, then why should they care who's against them? 'The debate is over' is a line that's used only by those who realize they would never win a debate.

In the end, it is not the debate itself, but those preventing it that are truly un-American. Honest listening and, more important, honest questioning is the foundation of the American experiment. We must listen to each other with renewed ears and speak out with passion, while also recognizing the difference between anger and truth.

Unfortunately, there are many in Washington who understand that honest debates will pull back the curtain on the scam they've been perpetrating. They promise transparency but instead deliver ten-thousand-page legislative bills that must be passed before being read on fully understood. They promise openness, but then move quickly, under cover of darkness, to further their agendas."

-Glen Beck: Glen Beck's Common Sense


He may not be the most eloquent fellow to walk the planet, or the most loved, but i agree with anyone who speaks truthful common sense. Period.

Just some thoughts for your evening...

Porcelain

The door broke when you slammed it shut,
And the cracks kept reaching long after you left.
Through the floorboards, branching towards the hall,
Like vines that never rest...
Climbing like fire through the walls.
A single spark that claims the whole forest -
I know, I know...it's all for the best.
But honestly, I would rather be
Safe from a distance than here...

When I fell to me knees
To sew the damage shut,
I couldn't believe...
A bright, staggering light
Came flooding into me
From out of the seams.

So I reached deeper in
And pulled my whole world wide open,
And for each broken mile, a billion
Miracles happen at once
In everything...in everything.

But I'm safe from a distance, right here.

Everything I love
Was made of porcelain,
Ready to break.
But the bright, staggering light,
It anxiously waits inside.
Like nesting dolls, the secret hides.
And like every birth,
It was a necessary pain...
I know, I know...
It's all worth the wait,
Worth the weight.

Bad News Bears

I am prone to blog when: 1. I am upset and 2. When I'm feeling philosophical.

Today's post brought to you by reason number 1 ah-ah-ahhhhhh (get it? The Sesame Street Count?)...anyway.

Now I know this can make for a series of thematically redundant post, but I can't help it. When you feel like writing, you feel like writing I guess. Would it make it better if I promised to produce a "happy" post in the near future? I promise I will. I have some pics of a pretty sweet home makeover project that I've been meaning to post. I'll try to get it up tomorrow, and dilute some of the Debbie-Downer vibe.

It's just that today was one of those unbelievably horrible days. It was like a real life version of Meet the Parents. Just when you think it can't get worse, and you can't feel worse, it does, and you do. It's two days in a row that I've woken up on the completely wrong side of the bed. It was as if today was telling me that it was going to be terrible before I'd even finished opening my eyes. When I have mornings like that, I have to really put myself on guard and fight the gravity I know will try to weigh me down. This morning i tried...It just so happened that I also failed. My Alarm set for 8 o'clock decide not to go off until 8:45. One would think this was a user error, but oh no! Think again, alarm set for 8...in the morning, goes off at 8:45. It only serves as more proof that I need an actual alarm clock, and not a stupid Nokia cell phone. I hopped out of bed feeling seven different kinds of aggravated and it was all down hill from there. I managed to burn myself with a curling iron, suddenly remember to pay a bill--two days late mind you, have a panic attack about my finances, get pulled over on the way to work and incur a $160.00 ticket (making the aforementioned financial situation 10 times worse), Be 15 minutes late to work (again, this caused by the ticket scenario), Loose 15 dollars, Get stuck behind the worlds slowest woman at the post office on my lunch break, and therefore 20 mins late back to work, work the entire day with one of my least favorite people ever, stumble upon an old picture of my mother that made me home sick for a place and a person that no longer exist, and end it all by slamming my hand in the car door. It was so much more than this admittedly trivial list of annoying occurrences, but they certainly worked hard to add insult to preexisting injury. I would say that the day couldn't have gotten any worse, but I know that's not true, and also don't want to dare tomorrow to get any big ideas. It was just too much. On days like these it becomes incredibly hard for me to hope. I am easily discouraged I guess, or at least that's what people tell me. The funny thing is, that I don't think I am. Well...maybe sometimes, but in totality...no.

I haven't had the easiest life. Yes, I am well aware that so many have had it MUCH worse than I, but that doesn't' change the things I have lived. I am thankful that things weren't/haven't been worse, because honestly I don't think I could deal. But sometimes when I sit and think of my story to this point, I just get sad. I feel so aimless in this life. Rudderless and without cause. Like I'm living just to live, to spin my wheels and never actually gain any ground. Ok...super emo, I know, but, it's how I feel. How much discouragement can a heart take? How long can one struggle over and over with the same things before it just gets too hard to get up, to see how things will really ever be different? There's a verse that talks about "hope deferred" making the heart sick, and I wonder at what point does it become deferred? I've always imagined that verse as an example of "too much of a good thing". I mean, if hope is the longing for things that are not, then it would make sense that too much longing in the heart would ferment into doubt, unbelief, bitterness, and despair. Today it was an uphill battle against all of the above. Bad news bears is an understatement. But I do wish chubby, furry bears did deliver bad news. Though their appearance would be portentous foreshadowing, who could resist a cuddly bear? It would DEFinitly soften the blow of bad news...at least for crazies like me.

I am trusting and praying that tomorrow is better. The fact that I don't have to work, already puts it leagues ahead of today. I need good news. I need something miraculous and unexpected to happen. I need respite from the mundane, from what I think I know to be true about the way "things" are.

So here's to hope...


"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us..."
-Rom 5:3-5

"But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope fore what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
-Rom 8:24

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."
-Heb 6:19
<3

Siliver Linings

Yikes this week has been overwhelming. I feel like the proverbial headless chicken...on crack. What's even more daunting (and discouraging if I’m not careful), is that it doesn't look like things will slow down any time soon. I am ever amazed at life's ability to become more and more stressful, and the uncanny tendency towards looking like all but what you imagined it to be.

le sigh

Through it all I am really trying to count my blessings. I mean, quite literally, I've attempted to enumerate the vast and copious way I have been blessed. As of late, when I find myself heaping the putrid, useless, dung of sorrow and misfortune onto my own head, I stop myself, and out loud begin to list everything i can think of that makes me the object of grace and mercy without measure. It has in and of itself been a blessing; it's one thing, that in a catch-22 sort of way, I am always able to count. It is so good for my heart. It helps me remember how much is NOT wrong with my life and often brings me to tears in thinking of the myriad of ways my sweet Jesus has saved me. Today it got me thinking of Deuteronomy. I began to think about the segment where Moses gives some of his final words to his people; the mantra of which is "Do not forget". I mean over and over and over again he reminds them to remember. He implores them to tell the story of what the Lord has done for them lest they forget, become faithless, confused, rudderless, and without cause. A People without vision perish. A Faith (and I do mean the proper noun that would imply myself) without vision will perish.

So in the spirit of thankfulness, here’s a list of some things (silly as some may seem) that help me smile, stand in awe and remember that only the forgetful wander.

In no particular order...

1. Music. Few things have the ability to affect me so deeply and instantly as a really, really, good song. This morning I rolled down all my windows (which is quite a task seeing as they're manual) and sang Phil Wickham loud enough to garner concerned looks from passersby, and a sore throat to boot! But it was good for my soul, and made the tacit of acceptance of having an awful day impossible. Other Artists/albums I would dare you to listen to and still have a bad day; Hjaltalín: Sleep drunk Season, any Anathallo, Mates of State...all of it, but especially Rearrange Us, Fiona Apple: Extraordinary Machine, Cory Asbury: Let Me See Your Eyes.

2. Strawberries. There's no food I love more on earth. A really, really good strawberry born out of the fading coolness of April and May is life changing.

3. My health. Despite my recent and ridiculously depressing Dentists appointment, I have what so many people pray for. Thank you Jesus.

3. My car. It has been a long disastrous road, but after almost two years with spotty to no permanent transportation, having my own car is one thing i won't soon forget to add to the list.

4. Fire Church. Though I am still working on building community there, I love, love, LOVE! my church. I have not words to express the blessing of being with such an amazing family of people.

5. I have a job. This one needs little explication in these tough economic times.

6. New Books

7. NoDa. Art galleries make me feel alive.

8. Thomas the Regent Parkway Goose. Thomas is my little feathery friend that frequents a patch of Grass by Madison Green EVERY SINGLE morning. Without fail that little guy is there every morning i drive by. In the same spot, eating grass and happy to be a bird. He makes me smile. I like him.

9. Trees...really big ones.

10. Moscato. A new favorite wine.

11. Having a Father that, when i am faithless, remains faithful.




"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone."
-G.B. Stern


“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”
-John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Today this made me smile.

LOVE Beirut...LOVE.

Nothing special.

So I haven't written in quite some time. I'm lazy really, and because of it, I'm not quite sure how long this blog will last. But its worth a try right?

The past couple of weeks have been really crazy: Quit a job, potentially starting another one, said no to graduate school, trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life, looking for an apartment (an affordable one where I won't be afraid of being shot at night; but I'm quickly coming to realize these two factors cannot peaceably coexist). I'm trying really hard to keep my head together in the midst of it all. So far so good. I mean, I know the things I think about and face day to day are the same as those almost everyone faces. I know I am not so "special" as to be the only one to deal with adversity in this life, but certainly some days it feels that way. It's like I'm having the crappiest of days, practicing breathing exercises, meditation and prayer to avoid having a panic attack, and just when I think, "Faith, it's totally not that big of a deal, everyone has their share." I log on to facebook and everyone's statuses seem to be intentionally and annoyingly optimistic. "Bob The Builder is enjoying the sunshine on a beautiful day". "Johnny Johnson has the best life ever"! "Suzy Suzalot just won a million dollars"!!!! Pictures posted of weddings, families, friends, candy and rainbows. EVERYone I talk to seems to being so great, having such fabulous circumstances. Okay, okay, so I'm being somewhat dramatic, but seriously, sometimes that's how it seems. And it's not that I am unhappy that the people near and far in my life are happy, just some days it's overkill. It's like having that one doggedly optimistic friend try to console you, continually offering bubbly bits of joyful wisdom. Part of you wants to hear them. You want to just admit they're right, and be happy-see the bright side, but the other part of you wants to punch them in the face, and just have them be sad with you. I realize that sounds kinda terrible, but don't pretend you haven't thought it before.

Anyway I'm just having to learn and re learn how to live this life; daily figuring out and changing what I'm even doing with it. It's just that sometimes the process is wearying, and I'm over it. I remember my senior year in high school, how excited I was to graduate, an become a "real person". If you had asked me then, I would have said that by now id be working some cool non-profit job with an arts organization, married to a painfully attractive man, living in Portland, or Seattle, Manhattan, Chicago, SOMEWHERE AWESOME!!!! Wow, I'm glad I didn't know how little I'd have figured out by 24. It would have just depressed sweet little 18 year old Faith. Ha. But I know the Lord is a good leader. I know that he finishes the things he starts, and that even in the midst of so much change and uncertainty that he is good, and that things are not as out of control as they often feel. Things are not as out of control as they often feel, things are not as out of control as they often feel...okay. I think I'm good.